Our Decision Frames: Personality, Temperament, and Character
- Chris Coraggio
- Jul 13, 2023
- 10 min read
Updated: Jul 16, 2023
Back in 2018-2019, I was managing someone in a school testing operations role (we’ll call him Shim, he is Korean). Early in the relationship, I realized that Shim was totally different than me:
Overall, his temperament was calm and collected; I am high energy
He was very introverted; I am very extroverted
He preferred structure and routine; I tolerate more disorderliness and prefer variety
He preferred to work alone; I enjoy thinking out loud and collaborating
In the beginning, we struggled to manage our work together and even missed a critical deadline.
After some serious reflection and conversation, we made some key changes - first, I matched his energy, lowering my voice and pace, and gave him the personal space he needed. Second, we agreed he could work at home part-time (pre-pandemic!), always needing to attend group meetings in person. When Shim needed to reach out and collaborate with others, I made sure to support him by identifying the right people and supporting him with creating structures for effective collaboration. Lastly, we made sure that performance goals were as black and white as possible because he worked best with very clear expectations.
With those changes, along with some work for us to understand each other better, our performance soared and ultimately, we became very close colleagues. Understanding our personalities and temperaments was critical.
Question for you: Have you had an experience lately with a friend, family member, or colleague, where personality differences drove tension?
This blog post is the 2nd post on our "who" or "being" decision frames, under the broad question: "Who am I?". Identity (you can read the post here) is the broader way that we think about ourselves. This post will discuss specifically personality, temperament, and character, which are ways to describe people’s thinking and behavior, as opposed to describing how we think of ourselves. We’ll cover:
What are temperament, personality, and character, and what are the differences between them?
What does research say about each and what myths are out there about personality?
What you might do as it relates to understanding your and others' personality, and what to do with that understanding?
What are Temperament, Personality, and Character? What makes each distinct?
Temperament, personality, and character are three concepts that describe aspects of an individual's psychological makeup. While these terms are often used interchangeably, they refer to distinct aspects of human behavior, emotion, and cognition.
Temperament is seen as biological and very stable, roughly defined as the unique dispositional makeup of an individual, physically and emotionally.
Personality is broader, with 2 definitions helping round out understanding:
"The relatively enduring pattern of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that distinguish individuals from one another." (Pervin & John, 1999)
"The dynamic and organized set of characteristics possessed by an individual that uniquely influences his or her cognitions, motivations, and behaviors in various situations." (Funder, 2001)
Lastly, character is seen as the enduring behaviors of a person that are evidence of their morals and principles. Character is also often an evaluative judgment of someone’s personal qualities.
How might temperament, personality, and character influence the quality of our lives?
Subjective well-being (how I think I’m doing) is one outcome highly predicted by some personality traits. For example, those high in extraversion and low in neuroticism tend to see events and situations in a more positive light, are less responsive to negative feedback, and tend to discount opportunities that are not available to them.
Another interesting finding is that childhood temperament was a good predictor of future life outcomes, up to 30 years later (Table 1 if you want to get nerdy). For example, temperament was related to objective indicators such as body-mass index, educational attainment, and being incarcerated over 2 decades later. Temperament was not associated with every outcome in the study, but it was even more interesting to learn that often temperament, measured in a child’s life between 0 and 10 years old, can be a better predictor than adult personality.
However, personality that developed later in life was more predictive of health outcomes than temperament, which means that the health habits we learn as adults are closer to the time we need to perform certain health-related tasks (diet, exercise, medication regimens, substance abuse, etc.).
Furthermore, there is a reason why psychometric assessments, often evaluating personality, are used in recruiting processes - they can indicate the probability a candidate would be successful at the company or in a certain role.
Our temperament, personality, and character will absolutely shape the decisions we make and behaviors we exhibit over and over in the course of our lifetime. This doesn’t mean that our fates are already decided - it means that if we know what we want, and know our personalities enough to understand the obstacles our personalities bring, we can work with and around our tendencies.
Let’s take some time to understand prevailing personality frameworks.
Frameworks
Remember that these frameworks are just that - frameworks that imperfectly describe us as complex human beings and are continuously being updated with new research. Frameworks can help explain so much of what we are seeing about the difference between humans, and can often predict how people respond to situations.
Temperament - Jerome Kagan’s 9 Dimensions
Kagan was an American psychologist who studied child development and defined dimensions of temperament that were very biologically based, having been observed at a very early age, and mostly genetic. Further, it is theorized that these dimensions are influential on a person’s personality.
Trait | Definition | Range |
Activity | Energy level and amount of movement | energetic vs. sedentary |
Regularity | Natural patterns and schedules for biological functions (ex. sleeping, elimination, eating) | predictable vs. variable |
Initial Reaction | Reaction to new people and situations | open vs. hesitant |
Adaptability | Ability to adjust to changes | accommodating vs. resistant |
Intensity | Emotional response to events | exuberant vs. lethargic |
Mood | Typical emotional outlook | positive vs. negative |
Distractibility | Ability to focus | attentive vs. sidetracked |
Persistence - Attention Span | Ability to stay with an activity | immersed vs. disinterested |
Sensory Threshold | Reaction to sensory stimuli. (ex: texture, touch, brightness, volume, taste, aroma) | unaffected vs. irritated |
Personality
Two of the most scientifically validated personality models are called the Big Five (another extension of this is called the HEXACO), and Cloninger’s Temperament and Character Inventory (which we were exposed to in IESE’s Personality and Leadership class). We will go a bit into each model.
Big Five
The Big Five model (see full breakdown here) is the most validated model of personality because the traits are stable over time, resulting in predictive and reliable results. Between 40-60% of the Big Five is heritable, with the same range also shaped by experience. An interesting factoid - a study of the impact of coaching on personality reports that people experiencing effective coaching reliability increased their extraversion and openness.
Neuroticism is how much negative emotion a person experiences and how much those emotions impact them. People who experience lots of depression, anxiety, or self-consciousness, for example, would be described as high in neuroticism.
Extraversion is the trait of being warm and enthusiastic in social interactions, and assertive and sensation-seeking in general. You can probably easily think of people you know who are high in extraversion – they tend to be the life of the party, talk more than others, and drive the activity in a group.
Openness is where those scoring high show curiosity and interest regarding a variety of ideas, values, ways of thinking, and behaviors. A person low in openness might hesitate to try a new restaurant, travel to a different country, or listen to a speech expressing a political perspective with which they don’t agree.
Agreeableness is where those scoring high want to get along with others; they are trustworthy, modest, and generous with their time and resources. They may also hesitate to express opinions that would cause conflict or put their needs above those of others.
Conscientiousness is the trait of being disciplined, orderly, and striving to do what is right. Think of your fellow student or work colleague whom you are certain would never cheat, intentionally manipulate others, or forget to complete a task.
The additional HEXACO model adds another dimension called Honesty-Humility, the extent to which one places others’ interests above their own.
TCI-R (Temperament and Character Inventory)
This is a model that separates temperament, more genetic and unchangeable characteristics, from character, traits that can be influenced by environment and experience:
Temperament Dimensions:
These are believed to be more genetic and tied to biology, thus harder to change.
Novelty Seeking (NS)
| Harm Avoidance (HA)
| Reward Dependence (RD)
| Persistence (PS)
|
Character Dimensions:
These are thought to be more influenced by environment and experience.
Self-Directedness (SD)
| Cooperativeness (CO)
| Self-Transcendence (ST)
|
Personality Disorders
Without going into detail on personality disorders, below is a quick summary of personality disorders, organized by clusters with common traits.
Cluster A personality disorders
These are characterized by odd, eccentric thinking or behavior. They include paranoid personality disorder, schizoid personality disorder, and schizotypal personality disorder.
Paranoid personality disorder - Pervasive distrust and suspicion of others and their motives
Schizoid personality disorder - Lack of interest in social or personal relationships, a limited range of emotional expression, and inability to take pleasure in most activities
Schizotypal personality disorder - Peculiar dress, thinking, beliefs, speech, or behavior; this includes odd perceptual experiences, such as hearing a voice whisper your name; social anxiety and a lack of or discomfort with close relationships
Cluster B personality disorders
These are characterized by dramatic, overly emotional, or unpredictable thinking or behavior. They include antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder.
Antisocial personality disorder - Disregard for others' needs or feelings, including persistent lying, stealing, using aliases, conning others; consistently impulsive and irresponsible behavior
Borderline personality disorder - Impulsive and risky behavior, such as having unsafe sex, gambling, or binge eating. Including an unstable or fragile self-image, along with unstable relationships.
Histrionic personality disorder - Constantly seeking attention, excessively emotional, dramatic, or sexually provocative to gain attention. Speaks dramatically with strong opinions, but few facts or details to back them up. Easily influenced by others
Narcissistic personality disorder - Belief that you're special and more important than others and exaggeration of achievements or talents, with an expectation of constant praise and attention. This disorder causes fantasies about power, success, and attractiveness. Also characterized by failure to recognize others' needs and feelings
Cluster C personality disorders
These are characterized by anxious, fearful thinking or behavior. They include avoidant personality disorder, dependent personality disorder, and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.
Avoidant personality disorder - People who are too sensitive to criticism or rejection; they feel inadequate, inferior, or unattractive, and hence avoid work activities that require interpersonal contact
Dependent personality disorder - Excessive dependence on others, submissive, and feeling the need to be taken care of; they have a fear of having to provide self-care or fend for themselves if left alone, requiring excessive advice and reassurance from others to make even small decisions
Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder - Preoccupation with details, orderliness, and rules; extreme perfectionism, resulting in dysfunction and distress when perfection is not achieved, such as feeling unable to finish a project because you don't meet your own strict standards; neglect of friends and enjoyable activities because of excessive commitment to work or a project
Note: Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder is not the same as obsessive-compulsive disorder, a type of anxiety disorder
Misconceptions as they relate to personality tests
Beware the knockoffs!
BAD NEWS. That Myers-Briggs inventory? Or the Enneagram? Or the DISC assessment? These are
not the most scientifically validated personality assessments. They likely are meaningful in some way, but researchers generally use the Big Five as the standard-bearer for personality assessments.
Why though?
See the main reasons in the visual above - in summary, only the Big 5 (Dream5/OCEAN) is valid, reliable, and predictive.
2. Personality is not destiny.
Remember that in between any stimulus and us is our freedom to choose our actions. While majority of our actions are habit that form generally from the drivers of our personalities, we can often behave in ways inconsistent with our personality.
Oftentimes, we realize that our true goals and principles will require us to overcome certain personality tendencies and choose to behave in ways that are scary or less natural to us. This is the true agency of human beings to shape our lives.
What to do about temperament, personality, and character
For better or worse, it’s almost certain your temperament won’t change, and likely your personality or character will not change much, save some big event, change or crisis prompts a need for a change in personality.
However, it is still useful to be aware of your personality because it shines light on how to design life around who you are, and to understand and build strong relationships with others.
Building Self-Awareness
See a list of questions to get you thinking about your personality and how it's impacting your life. I included personal examples to help you get started.
Questions | Example |
Reflect on how you would describe your personality, temperament and character. If it helps, take a personality assessment (I recommend the Big 5).
| On the Big 5, I am:
On the TCI-R, I am very high on reward dependence, especially dependence (people pleasing), high on ambition, and low on spirituality. |
How has your personality influenced your thinking and decisions?
| At work, I tend to prefer meetings and collaboration to have more interaction. As someone who likes novelty, I tend to prioritize projects that are newer and more exciting. In my personal life, I enjoy city life to more suburban/rural life, which comes from my extroversion. I value new experiences, so travel and learning new cultures to me is more interesting than nature-based trips. |
Reflect on how your personality is consistent with your values, principles and goals. | As someone who has a relative tolerance for disorder and is high in exploratory excitability (novelty), I am someone who often will not follow through on the many great ideas I have, and sometimes even prefer to start a project, then to drop it. That impacts my results - so I have to think about how to leverage other personality traits and other people to make sure I am accomplishing and making the impact that I want. |
Reflect next on the impact of your personality.
| My extroversion is really helpful in building relationships, which is important across life. I have a strong network of friends and colleagues that have supported me and contributed to my happiness throughout life. On the negative side, I am also people-pleasing in a way that I give my time too generously and will often adjust my own schedule for the convenience of others. Being pretty shy has prevented me from meeting new people who might have been beneficial in my life (or even be my future partner!). Concern for what others think also stops me from doing a lot of what I want to in life for fear of their judgment. |
(This pic is supposed to be me reflecting on myself.....)
Understanding Others
In the same way we take the time to understand ourselves, it can be an important step to get to know others who you interact with often. You can’t force them to take personality tests, but there are multiple ways to glean important information.
A few ways to get to know your people:
Observe. Observe their behavior and pay attention to what they say and how they say it. Repeated behavior is where you will find signs of someone’s personality.
Notice. What other hints exist about this person's personality - their clothing, objects in their home or office, activities they partake in - these are all potential clues of personality.
Ask questions. You can ask direct personality questions, or even ask what has them say or do something you are curious about.
Form hypothesis while suspending assumptions. We overestimate how right we are about people - if you’re looking at their social media or hearing about a person from the perspective of others, remember that you are making assumptions. Always take this type of “secondary source” information as a hypothesis, and seek to confirm it.
Once you learn a bit about your similarities and differences, talk about them. Connect on dimensions where you see similarity, and both celebrate, as well as plan for how those differences might manifest in your relationship. Sometimes it's helpful to establish some "ways of working" so as to alleviate conflict from these differences.
How might personality, temperament, and character show up in coaching conversations?
In the pursuit of your goals, it is likely that the actions you have taken (and those you haven’t) are
habits built from your personality. For example, I create project plans because I know I should, but I often don’t follow them - that’s my disorderliness kicking in.
Depending on the goal, your personality characteristics will sometimes help and sometimes hurt your cause. One of the personality dimensions on the TCI-R is “reward dependence”, which often turns up as “people pleasing”. How might people pleasing impact your ability to make tough decisions?
As a coach, it is my job not only to build your own awareness of personality, temperament and character, but to understand how your different characteristics have impacted your results, and how to work with your personality to ensure success in the future. Rarely are we “working on personality” - rather, how to work with your personality.
Conclusion
I’ve spent a lot of time “fighting” my tendencies - for example, for almost 10 years I tried over and over to instill a tight calendar and to-do tracking system that weren't working for me. I've learned to tweak my systems around my personality, such as a calendar with large chunks of unscheduled time. I like to have room for spontaneity! Just being aware of our tendencies allows us to design our lives, and our relationships, around who we are naturally. I’m still figuring out what works for me…I imagine you are too!
If you want to talk through how your personality, temperament, and character are impacting the achievement of your goals, schedule a call here.
For Learning and With Love,
Chris
Resources:
Podcast: American Psychological Association: Borderline Personality Disorder
Podcast: Rethinking by Adam Grant
Positive Psychology: Personality & Character Traits: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
Psych Central: Personality, Character & Temperament
Article: Penn State Extension, Temperament
Post: University of South Wales: Everyone's different - what parts of the brain make our personality so unique?
Post: Mayo Clinic, Personality Disorders
Study: Temperament and Pesonality
Study in Nature: Childhood temperament and adulthood personality differentially predict life outcomes
Study: Personality and the Prediction of Consequential Outcomes
The entire model of the BIG 5/OCEAN:
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