Our Decision Frames: Purpose

When I arrived to the University of Maryland, I didn’t have any idea what major (let alone career) to pick, so I picked my family career default: business. By senior year, I got an offer from a prestigious program, happy to make my parents proud that I was on a strong trajectory.

But by February before graduation, I had the sinking feeling, perhaps the existential dread, that something was wrong. I didn’t want that job. I didn’t want to be stuck behind a computer improving

IT systems for a big corporation - it felt meaningless (no offense, corporate America!). I had the urge for my career to “matter”.

And like fate, Teach for America swooped in with their slogan: “One day, all children in this nation will have the opportunity to attain an excellent education.” I was hooked and bought a 1-way ticket to Los Angeles. A crappy salary and terrible conditions were no match for the purpose I felt I was living every day.

This clear mission, a great organization (love you Alliance!), and fast career advancement felt amazing - until 8 years later, my 2nd moment of existential dread arrived and I was back to square one in 2019. Let’s talk about purpose, and I’ll share how my story related to the topic has unfolded. Pictured is me and some amazing students who worked with me on my last project at Alliance.

[This post is part of a multi-part series on life design discussing how to live intentionally, and a life aligned with what you really want. This first topic discusses purpose and “your why”.]

What is Purpose?

To keep it simple - your purpose is your reason for existence, your North Star, your what gets you up from bed in the morning. It’s “your why”.

Psychologists Frank Martela and Michael F. Steger defined the ingredients of purpose as:

• “Coherence: how events fit together. This is an understanding that things happen in your life for a reason. That doesn’t necessarily mean you can fit new developments into your narrative the moment they happen, but you usually are able to do so afterward, so you have faith that you eventually will.

• Purpose: the existence of goals and aims. This is the belief that you are alive in order to do something. Think of purpose as your personal mission statement.

• Significance: life’s inherent value. This is the sense that your life matters. If you have high levels of significance, you’re confident that the world would be a tiny bit—or perhaps a lot—poorer if you didn’t exist.”

One distinction that’s important is that between purpose and meaning. From Sir John Whitmore, a pioneer in coaching, said: “Meaning is the significance we ascribe to an event or action in hindsight, but purpose is our intent to embark on a course of action. Meaning is psychological, while purpose is a spiritual concept.” Here’s an interesting 2017 Pew Research study on US Americans and meaning.

Purpose can exist anywhere in your life - in your career, family, religion, community, hobbies and other places.

While purpose for each person is like their fingerprint, totally unique to them, MLK, Jr. perhaps said it best: “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’” The great thing about anchoring purpose in other people is that helping people through any means ultimately makes us much happier. Win-win y'all!

Different Perspectives on Purpose

We could come at purpose from many perspectives and never arrive at a single conclusion. That’s a good thing - different viewpoints will help you come to your own coherent understanding and viewpoint, with the aim of having a purpose and philosophy that allow you to live your life in alignment and reap the benefits of doing so.

Below we’ll discuss the following questions before learning different ways of seeing purpose:

1. Does purpose exist in an objective sense? In what way is purpose built into our DNA?

2. What are leaders’, philosophers’, and people’s beliefs and practices around purpose?

3. What are the benefits of having purpose?

[For each part below, click on the arrow ">" to read each section]

On Objective Reality of Purpose

I think it's important to distinguish “objective reality” from “subjective experience” on purpose - but ultimately for humans, our subjective experience is perhaps what actually matters, as we are operating in accordance with our beliefs. Here is Yuval Noah Harari, author of Sapiens: “As far as we can tell from a purely scientific viewpoint, human life has absolutely no meaning. Humans are the outcome of blind evolutionary processes that operate without a goal or purpose. Our actions are not part of some divine cosmic plan, and if planet earth were to blow up tomorrow morning, the universe would probably keep going about its business as usual. Hence any meaning that people ascribe to their lives is just a delusion.” Okay that can sound depressing, but he goes on to clarify: “The main question in life is suffering. How can we be liberated from it? Why should you be miserable that you are not part of some cosmic drama…You mean nothing, but to the people around you, you matter.” This last statement is very aligned with Buddhist thinking, and Mahatma Gandhi similarly said, “Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.” Others would disagree - whether believing in God, fate, or other forces, many people do think a purpose has been given to them. There’s no way to prove it, so perhaps we come back to the fact that ultimately, how you think about purpose is all that matters as you are designing your life.

On our Biology

While Sir John Whitmore referred to purpose as a spiritual concept, we are still nevertheless animals, and the laws of physics and biology still apply to us, so let’s get some biological perspective on purpose. Here is what Robert M. Sapolsky, author of Behave, The Biology of Humans said about how animals are built in terms of evolution, and I would argue our “biological purpose of life”: “Animals behave for passing as many copies of their genes as possible. Not survival of the fittest…reproduction of the fittest. [One way] is individual selection, by itself reproducing.” He continues with a funny saying: “I will gladly lay down my life for 2 brothers or 8 cousins”, which implies that while we want to pass on our genes, we can also do it through family even if we don't have our own children. What does this mean? We are geared toward some purpose around “legacy” and leaving behind our next generation, and an instinct to take care of family. We are also highly social beings, so it seems natural that purpose is about others. Obviously, this is not deterministic and not shared equally among all humans, but it’s a start to understanding that our genes are coded, in a way, with purpose.

On Motivation and Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (diagram on the right) also connects to purpose. After our “deficiency” needs (physiological, safety, love and belonging, and self-esteem needs) are mostly taken care of, we move on to “growth” needs that were identified in later iterations of Maslow’s hierarchy. These include:

• 5. Cognitive needs - knowledge and understanding, curiosity, exploration, need for meaning, and predictability.

• 6. Aesthetic needs - appreciation and search for beauty, balance, form, etc.

• 7. Self-actualization needs - realizing personal potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth, and peak experiences. A desire “to become everything one is capable of becoming”

• 8. Transcendence needs - A person is motivated by values that transcend beyond the personal self (e.g., mystical experiences and certain experiences with nature, aesthetic experiences, sexual experiences, service to others, the pursuit of science, religious faith, etc.).

Purpose generally maps onto our self-actualization and transcendence needs. What do philosophers and world leaders think about purpose? If you’re curious, here is an interesting breakdown of different philosophies. Below, I’m sharing some quotes that give different perspectives. [Picture slide show]

What do philosophers and world leaders think about purpose?

If you’re curious, here is an interesting breakdown of different philosophies. Below, I’m sharing some quotes that give different perspectives.

Purpose in numbers:

Compared to a 2011 Lifeway Research study, Americans today are more likely to regularly think about how they can find more meaning and purpose. “During COVID-19 many experiences, pleasures, and metrics of success became irrelevant overnight,” said McConnell.

In 2021, more than 2 in 3 Americans (68%) said a major priority in their life was finding their deeper purpose. Almost 3 in 4 (73%) said it’s important they pursue a higher purpose and meaning for their life.

From an article out of UC Berkeley: “While purpose tends to be highest in adulthood, old age can come with a diminishing sense of purpose and direction.” In one survey of people ages 50-92, only 30% reported feeling purposeful. “The causes tend to link to retirement, because the biggest sources of purpose for adults, work and family, take a major hit…It can feel like the things that defined us—our very identity—are slipping away.”

There is also the topic of purpose at work. According to McKinsey, while 85% of people feel they have purpose, only 65% can articulate it. “One of the things we were surprised to find in the research is that 70% of people said they define their purpose through work. And millennials even moreso are more likely to see work as their life calling.”

What does the research say about the benefits of purpose?

Evidence is growing that a higher sense of purpose is associated with healthier lifestyle behaviors (e.g., more physical activity and preventive healthcare use, as well as reduced illicit drug use and the likelihood of sleep problems), healthier biological function (e.g., reduced inflammation and allostatic load), physical function, and also reduced risk of chronic disease (e.g., lower risk of cardiovascular disease and cognitive impairment), and mortality.

According to Australian Unity, purpose is associated with “stronger personal relationships and improved mental health…Conversely, when we lack a sense of purpose, we can feel stuck, or stagnant – which can lead us to feel depressed or anxious, unmotivated and generally dissatisfied with our situation.”

The Australian Unity Wellbeing Index, conducted in partnership with Deakin University identifies sense of purpose, or “achieving in life”, to be one of the seven key domains, or areas, of well-being.

What can I do about purpose?

Start with a purpose “check-up”.

Author Arthur Brooks shared 3 questions that can help us get a pulse on our sense of purpose:

• “Do you feel out of control—tossed about in life without rhyme or reason? If so, you need a better grasp on coherence.

• Do you lack big plans, dreams, or ideas for your future that excite you? This is a purpose issue.

• Do you feel like it wouldn’t matter if you disappeared, like the world would be no worse—or maybe better—if you did? This is a problem of significance.”

Self-reflection goes a long way in clarifying our thoughts and feelings. Simone De Beauvoir said, “It is in the knowledge of the genuine conditions of our lives that we must draw our strength to live and our reasons for living.”

You realize your life lacks purpose in some sense…now what?

First of all, believe that you have purpose and it just takes some time and reflection to get there. Dr. Kendall Bronk, a professor of psychology at Claremont Graduate University said, “We all have things that we care about, we all have special talents that we can apply to make a meaningful difference in the world around us…that is why I believe we all have purpose.”

[For each part below, click on the arrow ">" to read more guidance in detail]

1. Start with understanding yourself.

An important question to start - do you have a strong sense of who you are, your identity? In a 2011 study, of high school and college students, “Researchers found that the more solid their sense of identity, the higher their sense of purpose.” The exploration of identity is found to be tightly linked to finding purpose. If you have a hard time describing who you are to your core, perhaps give it a shot to explore and understand your identity. Sometimes it helps to talk to your loved ones and ask them what they think makes you…you. Just make sure that you have a sense of self created by you, and not what other people and society think you should be.

2. Think about the people and communities you care about.

A beautiful poem, To Be a Fireman reads: “Why do I risk my life by running into a burning building, knowing that at any moment the floor may give way, the roof may tumble on me, the fire may engulf me? I’m here for my community, a community I grew up in, a community where I know lots of people, a community that knows me” (International Firefighters’ Day, 2004). I share this, because we find strong purpose in other people, especially those that we are connected to. For most of us, we are going to gravitate to our family and friends. Perhaps if you have time or resources, you can expand further into your community, or pick a subset of people that is particularly suffering (here is a map of global wars, hunger and poverty - people who REALLY need help).

3. Think about values and causes important to you.

Have you ever thought explicitly about your values? (stay tuned for a future blog post 🙂) Americans are known to value “freedom” for example, while the Chinese have a phrase “common prosperity” - have we ever thought in detail about what these mean to us individually and why those values are important?

Personally, one of my deeply held values is Wonder - a sense of discovery, embrace of ambiguity and uncertainty, a child-like marveling of the cosmos, and the pursuit of possibility and growth in my life. For me, that sense of awe of all the new scientific discoveries and new technologies makes me excited to be a part of humanity, to pass on this same feeling to others and to inform others of just how far we’ve come as a species, but also how much more possibility we have in front of us.

Once you have a set of values, perhaps relate them to what causes matter to you. Bringing back my value of Wonder - I can easily relate wonder to education, which is the cause I care most about 🙂. If this exercise isn’t helpful, perhaps take a cue from Yuval by thinking about what type of suffering in your community or the world you want to alleviate (violence, poverty, hunger, discrimination, disasters and migration are a start). A specific framework I find very helpful to think about how to help others, especially if you decide you want your “sphere of impact” to go beyond your family and friends, are the United Nations Sustainable Development Goals (called “SDGs”, shown on the right), which describe 17 major priorities for creating an equitable, just and prosperous world. Everyone can surely find an SDG that they are more passionate about. If you do think you want to align yourself with a cause, perhaps make a grid of your possibilities, with the different causes/problems on 1 axis, and the different communities on the other, and choose what resonates with you most.

4. Do a writing exercise to detail your thinking more - note that the activities below overlap a lot.

Option 1: Activities from IESE’s Future of Business leadership Class (Pick 1)

• Write the speech or letter you would like to share when you retire. What are you proud of in your life up to that time?

• Share your thoughts about how you want to see your life when you are 80 years old. What made life worth living? What are you proud of?

• Write your own obituary. How will you want to be remembered?

Option 2: Journal prompts from Sir John Whitmore

• “What’s your dream?

• What do you yearn for?

• What difference would you like to make in the world?

• What do you really want from your life?

• Imagine you were 80 years old and you were looking back on your life, what would you want to say?”

• Answering these questions creates a breadcrumb trail to your purpose

Option 3: Strange Questions from Mark Manson, Author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

• What’s your favorite flavor of s**t sandwich? In other words: what struggle or sacrifice are you willing to tolerate? What determines our ability to stick with something we care about is our ability to handle the rough patches.

• What’s true about you today that would make your 8-year-old self cry? What childhood passion did you lose in adulthood that you might want to revisit?

• What makes you forget to eat and poop? Look at the activities that keep you up all night, but look at the cognitive principles behind those activities that enthrall you.

• How can you better embarrass yourself? Feeling foolish is part of the path to achieving something important, something meaningful. Right now, there’s something you want to do, something you think about doing, something you fantasize about doing, yet you don’t do it.

• How are you going to save the world? Find a problem you care about and start solving it. Obviously, you’re not going to fix the world’s problems by yourself. But you can contribute and make a difference. And that feeling of making a difference is ultimately what’s most important for your own happiness and fulfillment.

• Gun to your head, if you had to leave the house all day, every day, where would you go and what would you do? What would you do with all of that time? What activity would you choose above all others? We all have only 24 hours in a day, and so we’re back to the all-important question that we all should be asking ourselves: “What can I do with my time that is important?”

• If you knew you were going to die one year from today, what would you do and how would you want to be remembered? Ultimately, death is the only thing that gives us perspective on the value of our lives. Because it’s only by imagining your non-existence that you can get a sense of what is most important about your existence.

5. From all this thinking, draft a mission.

Make your purpose clear, make it inspiring, and make it useful. One helpful exercise was shared in 7 Habits of Highly Effective people: “The most effective way I know to begin with the end in mind is to develop a personal mission statement or philosophy or creed. It focuses on what you want to be (character) and to do (contributions and achievements) and on the values or principles upon which being and doing are based.” For the sake of this post, I would write specifically a mission statement, and then you can work your way up to a creed and/or philosophy, which encompasses further reflection about yourself, your life, and life itself. Here are 2 examples of missions I wrote for myself:

• “I build innovative tools and systems for learning that help the next generation thrive in a 21st-century world. In a time full of grave challenges but immense opportunity, our kids are not being prepared for a world totally different than the ones we grew up with.

• “My mission is to bring the potential, the spark, and the joy out of the people and organizations I have the privilege to work with. I truly believe that if we used even 5% more of everyone’s potential, the world would be a completely different - and better - place.”

One note here - I decided to include on the back end a bit more context as to why the mission was important to me - an underlying belief that makes the mission meaningful.

6. Evaluating your mission/purpose statement.

It’s pretty normal for people to not know how to articulate their purpose, so here is an exercise giving some feedback so you can use it to reflect. Some of the people in my network were generous enough to share their purpose in 1-2 sentences anonymously - I didn’t tell them I would do this, so withhold your judgment! Example 1: “Be happy and help others.” This is the gist of the majority of responses I received. My push here would be to be clear about what type of help, and whether there’s a community of focus here. If help just means holding the door for people, I’d argue you’re not “living out a purpose”. Example 2: “Be worthy of heaven (religious/spiritual purpose) through my work/life/friends/family.” This is getting closer, as it provides a clear goal and defines the domains of life and the people that are important. My push here would be to clarify what makes something worthy of heaven in terms of work? Is it the type of organization, your role, the impact you make? Example 3: “My purpose is to influence others about inclusion to make an impact to become a more inclusive society.” This person has a clear “cause” that they care about - inclusion. My push on this would be to clarify what part of the population matters, and in what context inclusion matters. Inclusion could be in the area of government policy, at a company, in the local community, etc., and as it relates to economic opportunity, diversity, culture of an organization, etc. Example 4: “Having a successful professional career and be a good friend / partner.” I like how this one includes how to show up for the people in your life. What is missing is specificity. What does “successful career” mean (and I’d argue to clarify what makes a successful career important)? What does being a good friend and a good partner mean? Bonus here: ask your partner and friends! Ultimately you want to write a mission statement that is broad enough so much of your life can feel aligned to that purpose, and yet specific enough so you can ask yourself if you are living aligned with your purpose. And also - you want this statement to be inspiring and empowering - not a heavy obligation like having to meet a community service hours quota.

7. Take a step back and reflect.

Do this weeks or months after writing - give yourself time to live life and then read your mission statement again. See what comes up for you in the 3 areas: purpose, significance, and coherence. And maybe every year, revisit your mission statement and see if it still leaves you inspired.

One Step Further with Ikigai - a Japanese way of articulating purpose holistically

Ikigai, like purpose, is what gets you up every morning and keeps you going. The Venn diagram (pictured) which displays the overlapping four main qualities: what you are good at, what the world needs, what you can be paid for, and what you love. The crossover of these 4 points is where ikigai stands, although Ikigai does not have to be one thing like your career - it is the different parts of your life each playing an important part in your fulfillment.

You can use Ikigai as a way of designing your life, or you can do a "life audit". Rank the top 10 activities you do in a week, and ask yourself for each activity:

• Is it something that I love doing?

• Is it something the world needs?

• Is it something I’m good at?

• Is it something I can get paid for? If it’s not something you can get paid for, is what you can get paid for a good trade-off for really financially supporting your ikigai?

Hopefully, this will help you put the puzzle pieces together in your life.

Back to my story

After 8 years in education, something was missing for me. The K-12 system had me frustrated and…

bored. No longer was I making a direct impact on kids, and no longer did I get fulfillment from fixing organizational problems internally. I wanted to be closer to the impact, and I wanted to do work that required me to innovate and build new things to solve urgent problems.

After an MBA in Spain (me in my graduation gown in the picture) and a "false start" in financial services, I’m getting on track with building my coaching business and doing my best to steer my consulting work toward more people-related projects. I'm moving closer to my Ikigai...but guess what else?!?! I am plotting my return to education. No idea what that looks like yet…stay tuned!

Closing out the topic of purpose

You get to exist any way you want – and whatever way you choose is perfect, just listen to your heart. If you are someone that wants more from your life, you maybe feel less fulfilled, or something is missing, I hope this post is helpful.

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes:

“I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no ‘brief candle’ to me. It is sort of a splendid torch which I have a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it over to future generations.” - George Bernard Shaw

For Learning and With Love,

CC

Sources:

• Book: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

• Book: Coaching for Performance by Sir John Whitmore

• Book: Behave, The Biology of Humans by Robert Sapolsky

• Book: Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari

• Podcast: TED Interview Episode with Elizabeth Dunn - Design Your Life For Happiness

• Podcast: McKinsey Episode - The Search for Purpose at Work

• Podcast: Freakonomics Episode: Yuval Noah Harari Thinks Life is Meaingless and Amazing

• Article: The Atlantic: The Meaning of Life is Surprisingly Simple

• Article: Mark Manson - 7 Strange Questions that Help You Find Purpose in Your Life

• Article: Lifeway Research Study - American’s Views of Life’s Meaning and Purpose are Changing

• Article: CNBC - Harvard researchers say this mental shift will help you live a longer, healthier life

• Article: Journal of Preventive Medicine - Purpose in life and 8-year mortality by gender and race/ethnicity among older adults in the U.S.

• Article: Arthur Brooks - Finding the meaning of life is easier than you think

• Article: Australian Unity - How our sense of purpose affects our wellbeing

• Article: Savvy Tokyo - The Japanese Concept of Finding Purpose in Life

• Website: University of California Berkeley: Greater Good Website

• Website: Purpose Challenge website

• Website: Meaning of Life According to Different Philosophies website

• Website: Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy - Meaning of Life page

• Website: Positive Psychology - Finding Meaning in Life

• Website: Medical News Today - Maslow’s Heirarrchy of Needs

• Website: BigThink - Maslow’s Forgotten Pinnacle: Self Transcendance

• Website: SimplyPsychology - Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

• Website: BetterUp - Start finding your purpose and unlock your best life

For those of y'all that are curious about the results from the survey I sent out, see the results below. (note: this is not scientific nor does it represent a statistically representative sample!)

One great quote from the survey:

"There’s no way we were put into this space and time to truly be self-isolated or self-interested. We happened here. We didn’t choose to be here, but we choose moments that happen next. If we’re going to be surrounded by people, process, and tech AND have the luxury of safety, clean water and consistent electricity, we should do more for those who don’t."