Inspired by Asia: Some Reflections

In August, I was lucky in between jobs to visit Indonesia, Thailand, Philippines and South Korea. Thanks to all my friends - Roger, Irwan, Voratit, Tanawat, GJ & Ria, Sweta, Victoria and Taebo - for housing, helping, entertaining and educating me!

Those 5 weeks living in societies wildly different from the US questioned a lot of assumptions I held about myself and my life. And in the process of reflection, I uncovered some blindspots in my decision-making that were holding me back (read more on “big decisions” in my first blog post).

In the spirit of gratefulness and reflection, I hope that you can relate. Side note - I HIGHLY recommend you visit somewhere very different from the western world! Do it!!! I included some fun facts about each of these incredible countries below to entice you.

Indonesia: Enjoying my mundane.

Fun Facts About Indonesia: Indonesia is a great island nation of 260 million people, the largest

Muslim majority country, and a democracy. It is miraculous that on 17,000 islands with over 600 languages and ethnic groups represented, that there is an incredible amount of harmony in this country. Their national motto is “Unity in Diversity”! Truly extraordinary.

Storytime: I was picked up by a friendly Balinese man named Ketut on a moto on the way to learn surfing. Ketut asked me about my life, and I turned the questions back on him. I assumed, knowing he spent his life as a surf instructor, that perhaps he might lament wanting more in life (ehem, projecting much?). So I asked him directly if he was happy - and his answer was simple: he gets to spend the vast majority of his time doing what he loves - being with people, teaching others, surfing, and eating good food in good weather. (for those that saw the recent movie “Ticket to Paradise”, this will seem familiar). I found myself being the one questioning my own life.

My Reflection: I have (present tense meaning, still do) this voice in my head telling me that life is short and time is scarce - so I feel rushed to live it to the fullest. Obsessively, I chase accomplishments and new experiences at the expense of appreciating the here and now. Nerdy take here, but perhaps while not removing “productivity” as a life metric, I could think about another metric, like “joy per hour”, prioritizing enjoyment of the 99% of life (the “mundane”). Perhaps my Mother always had it right - blasting salsa music and dancing while cleaning is a winning strategy for making the mundane magic.

Question for you: How much do you enjoy the 99% / “mundane” of your life?

Pictured: Me "reflecting" at a Bali beach club, which is anything but mundane...(one day!)

Thailand - Designing my own spirituality.

Fun Facts about Thailand: Thailand is the only Southeast Asian country that was never

colonized by an European country. Thai people love their King, and show great respect for the monarchy. There are over 30,000 Buddhist temples there! Should you meet someone who is older or more important than you, it is best to lower your head in deference to show proper respect.

Storytime: Having seen the Hindu temples in Bali and Muslim mosques in Jakarta and learning about how the different religions and philosophies influenced each other, I was curious to learn about Buddhism in Thailand. I visited the most majestic and magnificent temples in Bangkok, Ayutthaya and Phuket, and observed the many different traditions for prayer and worship. I even ate dinner with a Thai family living in the “Old City”, and saw how they maintain a small shrine for Buddha, which keeps their spirituality very close and present to their everyday lives. Buddhism is interesting to me, because some practice it as a religion, and others practice it like Confucianism, which is more of a set of beliefs and principles for living a fulfilling life. One of the most noteworthy tenets of Buddhism is that “desire causes suffering”, which really left me thinking about my own desires, why I had them, and whether those desires were worth maintaining.

My Reflection: Growing up, I firmly rejected Catholicism, and adopted a (cynical perhaps) “we’re-all-just-skin-bags” attitude. But I’ve learned that everybody needs their spirituality, whether that source is religion, feeling connected to humanity, or just marveling about the universe and how we’re made of stars. Most of us familiar with Maslow’s hierarchy saw self-actualization at the top of the pyramid, but actually that top layer is self-transcendence - seeing ourselves as part of a larger whole. As a non-Christian in the US, I have to create my own rituals to develop my spirituality.

Question for you: What role does spirituality play in your life? Are you allowing yourself the space to live authentically in your spirituality?

Pictured: A Buddha statue in the "Old City" of Bangkok, Thailand

Philippines - No Hiding Anymore.

Fun Facts About The Philippines: The Philippines were colonized by Spain, the US and briefly occupied by Japan during World War II, fighting since the 1560s for independence and self-governance. Similar to Indonesia, they are an island nation (over 7,000!), but the region is broken up north-south into Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao. The Filipino flag is the only flag that can indicate if the country is at war - if the red stripe is on top. Below is a gorgeous new portrait honoring their long history of struggle for sovereignty.

Storytime: In Manila, I was lucky to be part of my friends GJ and Ria’s wedding, which brought together many of my IESE MBA friends from Japan, Canada, Mexico, Thailand and more. Like in any catchup, we shared how our careers were going, and this was really the first time over and over again, I shared my ambition to be a consultant and executive coach (a new ambition, mind you). And what was weird was that for my friends, I saw no surprise reaction in their faces - in other words, the drama I’ve had in my head about being these things, was just my drama. So when we went to the beautiful El Nido resort, it was the first time I started to put down on paper my plans lounging by the pool under the sun. Potencia was born in paradise!

My Reflection: All my life I refused to believe in myself, I over-indexed the opinions of others and I feared hypothetical embarrassment in the case of failure. This fear stopped me from dreaming, it stifled my creativity and thinking and ultimately it distorted who I really am. Don Miguel Ruiz said it well in The Four Agreements: “…our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive and to express what we really are; just being ourself is the biggest fear of humans. We have learned to live our life trying to satisfy other people’s demands; we have learned to live by other people’s points of views because of the fear of not being accepted and good enough for someone else.” Publishing this blog and starting this business is more than just starting a business - it’s me just being who I am, and sharing myself with you and the world, no matter the fear.

Question for you: Where in your life are you stopped from what you want, because of fear? What is that fear?

Pictured: El Nido Palawan in the Philippines

South Korea - Asking myself what I want.

Fun Facts: The Korean alphabet is actually pretty easy to learn, with 24 consonants and 10 vowels - so

don’t be fooled by all the characters. While the earliest known Korean pottery dates to around 8,000 BC, Korea engaged in Game-of-Thrones-style struggle since 2,333 B.C., eventually becoming a single empire (the tomb pictured to the right honors the former Emporer of the Joseon Dynasty), including colonization by the Japanese. To this day, South Koreans still hope for reunification with North Korea (hence still calling themselves “Koreans”).

Storytime: Korea was the longest time I ever had to travel alone, dealing with not knowing the language and constantly asking for help (something I loathe). More importantly, I was left to my own devices to choose what I wanted to do for once - because most of my travels have been the choices of my friends - a function of my people pleasing nature. I didn’t realize this, but I NERDED OUT in Korea (and the other countries) because I wanted to understand Korea’s story and its uniqueness. My favorite place was the National Museum of Korean Temporary history, which had so many stories and artifacts of their struggles through colonization, but also their triumphs in technology and culture.

My Reflection: This people-pleasing tendency of mine has stopped me, more than I thought, from thinking about what I want. Having to choose all the time what I wanted to do was uncomfortable, but ultimately empowering and had me get in the habit of asking that question more often.

Question for you: How much are you at the whims of other peoples’ desires and opinions?

Pictured: Me in a traditional upper class Hanbok in a Korean village that was preserved and restored in Suwon. This is a common activity for Koreans, who like me love their photo opportunities!

All in all, this trip was fantastic in itself and exactly what I needed to rethink what I wanted from life. I have a new career direction and now this new business, and I’m excited for a journey full of unknowns - but life is a process, and I plan on making my mundane beautiful.

Hopefully one or more reflections resonated with you - feel free to share a story of yours that would be helpful, or feedback if you have some on the article. If you want to chat as well, just fill out the contact form at the bottom of my website - hope to connect soon!

For Learning and With Love,

Chris

Resources:

• Book: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

• Museums: Museum Nasional Indonesia, National Museum of Fine Arts of the Philippines, National Museum of Korean Contemporary History

In case you wanted to see more!